Running Scared

For those who have been following me for a while, you know I have been battling Plantar Fasciitis since January.  I had to take off running from February through July.  About mid-July I was able to begin walking on a flat surface of no more than one mile.  I have been slowly building up and am now up to 3 miles.  I still have slight pain after the run but it is on the mend.

I did not think I would be sidelined for so long.  I signed up for the RunDisney Double Dare over 6 months ago.  The Dumbo Double Dare is a 10k on Saturday followed by a half marathon on Sunday at Disneyland.  Since Dumbo is one of my favorite characters, it was a no-brainer that I would sign up.  However, now that the time is approaching I am concerned about not being able to finish.

I contemplated deferring or selling my bib.  The main part of the reason, if I am honest, is because I am terrified.  Terrified of failing, not being able to do it, and challenging myself.  It is less scary cancelling and not trying than putting myself out on the course and failing.  It's easier to sit on the couch and do nothing.  If I do that, nothing will happen.  I will not change.

In the end, I have decided that I would prepare the best I can with the time that I have, enjoy the run and do my best.  Notice I did not say that I will finish.  I may be swept or my body may tell me it's not okay to go on...and I am finally okay with that.  The most important thing is that I try and do MY best.  It's not about what I could have done if I had not injured myself but what I can do here and now. 

I'll be running the 10k and half at Disneyland.  If you see me, stop and say "hi".  If you see me on the course struggling, a smile, nod or a kind word are always appreciated.  If I pass you and see that you are struggling, I will try to do the same. 

Have you ever almost cancelled on a race because you were scared to run it?